Men, Here Are 5 Areas You Must Grow As Husbands

1. Husbands Must Grow in Their Walk with Jesus 
A man’s walk with
King Jesus sets the direction for everything else in his life. It does not
guarantee that you will have a great marriage, but it will be the foundation
upon which all of your growth will be built. When you have a growing walk with
Jesus, you will be actively putting to death. Your sin is not only a dishonor to
your Lord and a hindrance to your walk, but it also has negative consequences in
your marriage. Therefore, a growing Christian man repents and seeks to cut the
things out of his life that don’t look like Jesus.

2. Husbands Must
Grow in Their Commitment to Their Wives 
In order to have a joyful
marriage, you will have to change is drastic ways. I don’t mean that you will
have to change your personality, hobbies, and likes. Your character, your words,
your quick-temper, and how you respond to pressure will have to change. These
changes require long looks in the mirror, hours in God’s word and prayer, and
daily repentance.

If you are not committed to your wife until your dying
day, this will be more than you can handle. The change can be so painful that
you will want to reach for the eject button if you think there is one. Instead,
lock out all of your other options and commit yourself fully to the wife of your
youth. Every tear shed in repentance will be worth it.

3. Husbands
Must Grow in Showing Kindness 
“Be kind to one another.” It is amazing
how these simple words from Ephesians 4:32can change your marriage. Married
couples often get into habits where they don’t treat each other with even the
most basic courtesy. Harsh words get spoken without apologies, a lack of
consideration becomes the norm, and the hostility begins to
build.

Instead of falling into the trap we must seek each day by the
power of God’s Spirit to show kindness to our wives. Kindness doesn’t mean
simply being nice, but rather that in our words, deeds, and intentions we are
working to be generous and considerate to our wives. This means that we think
about how we can bless with our words and be helpful with our deeds. When
kindness becomes the atmosphere of our marriage, it creates an environment in
which marriage thrives.

4. Husbands Must Grow in Confessing Their
Wrongs 
We struggle in two areas with the sins that we commit against our
wives. First, we possess blind spots the size of Texas and often do not realize
how we have sinned. At other times, we feel justified in our sin against our
wives because of something that we believe was done to us. We must work to
remedy both of these issues because our sins against our wives hinder our walk
with the Lord and create an enormous barrier to the growth of our
marriages.

When you realize that you have sinned against your wife, do
not seek to explain yourself. Do not wave it off with a quick “my bad” or a glib
“sorry about that.” Instead, own what you have done and repent to the Lord.
Then, make things right with your wife by confessing your sin to her. Instead of
waving off your sin with half-hearted ownership of them, take responsibility and
say, “I was wrong. Will you forgive me?” When you do this, you take
responsibility for your own sin and then give her an opportunity to extend
forgiveness.

5. Husbands Must Grow in Offering
Forgiveness 
When it comes to our wives’ sins against us, we often have
20/20 vision and a photographic memory. When your wife slights you or responds
to you rudely, you turn into a historian who is able to list dates and events
that have offended you throughout the entirety of your marriage. “You never” or
“you always” show up in our disagreements. Our conflicts aren’t about this issue
at hand, but about this issue and every other one that you have had over the
years.

We cannot follow Jesus or have a growing, joyful marriage while
harboring bitterness and unforgiveness. Bitterness eats at us like cancer and
causes serious resentment towards our wives. Instead of holding a grudge over
past wrongs, we remember that “love covers a multitude of sin” and that we are
to “forgive one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you.” When our wives sin
against us, we forgive freely from the heart, remembering that Christ has
forgiven us. This means we let go of our anger and resentment and move towards
reconciliation.

The Gospel of Jesus Christ provides the model for how
husbands treat their wives. As Christ never leaves or abandons us, we stay
faithful to our wives for the rest of our lives. We demonstrate the same
kindness, mercy, and compassion to our wives that Christ has shown to us. Then
we look to the cross of the Lord Jesus Christ, where he gave himself up for us,
and sacrificially love as we’ve been loved.

[written by Scott
Slayton, a lead pastor]