the Western world have tried many fad diets, quick fixes, and even weight loss
pills. Most have failed and ended up right back where they started — or even
worse off.
What’s responsible for this failure?
course. Instead of continuing to “try” harder or search for a magic formula, why
not ask God to show us the root of the problem?
Why failure is your friend
Instead of looking at failure to
achieve wellness goals as a dead-end, think of it as a sign that something is
blocking your success.
Most people are so focused on their fitness goals
— weight loss or waist-size — they miss the true benefit of pursuing wellness:
whole-person growth. When you hit the wall, it’s an opportunity to learn
something about yourself, face the facts, heal, and grow.
That’s how
failure can be your friend. So let’s look at the two main causes of un-wellness:
fraud foods and attitudes.
Of course, part of the reason diets and
resolutions fall short is because we’re eating fraud foods. Processed food and
junk snacks are not real food — they’re impostors. The real question is, Why
aren’t you choosing to eat real foods?
FRAUDS There are six possible reasons you’ve failed to improve
your health — and sabotaged your goals with bad choices. And they’re all
FRAUDS.
FRAUDS is an acronym for:
F = Fear
R = Resentment
A =
Anger
U = Unforgiveness
D = Disappointment
S = Shame
Let’s take
a look at each of the six aspects of FRAUDS.
Fear
Fear keeps you out of trouble. Before you pull out from
a traffic light, you look left and right, based on a healthy fear of harm. But
fear can keep you in trouble.
When I, (Mark) was growing up I struggled
with approval. I still do, to some extent. The fear of rejection stems back to
childhood — being an only child, adopted, and not one of the cool guys in
school.
If you know there is something new you need to do, you know there
will be fear. You have to do it afraid. Growth happens when you step outside of
your comfort zone.
Resentment
Have you ever had the experience of seeing
someone you know and wanting to walk the other way? That’s resentment.
I,
(Michele) look back on the hurts I experienced in my younger years — wounds of
abandonment, abusive relationships, personal injury, and homelessness. Little
did I realize resentment is like an infection that won’t heal. Eventually the
wound of resentment turns into anger.
Anger
Anger will drive our blood pressure up, which can
drive up our cortisol. Cortisol drives blood sugar, and when blood sugar goes up
it drives insulin. When insulin is up in a chronic way you’ll begin to store
fat.
See how emotion can easily impact our health?
In the early
spring of last year, a young man came to see us for help with his weight. He had
tried every diet, weight loss strategy, and even tried a few types of diet
pills. He turned to us as his last hope. In order to get to the root, we like to
ask a lot of questions. After all, we want success.
We asked, “How long
have you struggled with weight?”
“Since childhood.”
“Did your parents
show any favoritism towards you or your sibling?”
“Yes, my brother was their
favorite.”
“Did your brother struggle with weight?”
“No,” he snapped.
We could see emotions rising up.
So we asked, “How did they handle that
with you?”
“Well, my parents used to tell me to lose weight — and be more
like my brother.”
We could feel the burden he carried, even though his
parents had long since passed. He went on to marry a woman who seemed to be able
to eat anything she wanted and not gain weight.When she told him he needed to
lose weight, all the fear, resentment, and anger came rushing back like a bad
dream. This was the root of his food addiction.
Sometimes we have to go
back to our childhood years to find the root of anger.
Unforgiveness
God doesn’t expect you to be perfect. We sure
aren’t. But what we expect, and what you should expect, is perfect effort. This
means when you fall down, there are three choices. Number one, you can lay there
and let resentment turn to anger. Number two, you can cry. And stay in the
sadness and wallow in the pain. But there’s a third option.
You can dust
yourself off and say, “Well, I fell. It happens sometimes when you move. So I
choose to forgive myself and get up.”
Why not begin with you? Are you
willing to forgive yourself? (God is always willing)
Disappointment
The long-term effects of fear, resentment,
anger, and unforgiveness create an outlook of continual disappointment and
despair.
We prescribe a unique tool to every one of our patients: healing
words. We recommend replacements for statements like, “I’m a victim of my
father’s alcoholism,” “I’m fat and ugly,” or, “I’ll never lose weight.” Instead,
create and speak positive statements about you and your future, along with
scriptures that build faith.
Pay attention to your words, and prescribe
healthful words instead. If you don’t take disappointment seriously, and treat
it like a deadly disease, you may fall victim to the final of the FRAUDS.
Shame
We are often ashamed of our actions, and even ashamed
of life’s twists and turns. Instead of seeing ourselves as a person who’s
overcoming, we see a person who’s been overcome.
People who hide shame
often over-talk, and make fun of themselves. They’re always hiding — which is
easy to do on social media. The problem is, social media is a breeding ground
for comparison and shame.
All together, FRAUDS lie — about who you truly
are.
Freedom from FRAUDS
I, (Michele) had to walk through the
stages of FRAUDS myself to evaluate why I did what I did, and where my emotional
drive came from.
Growing up, all the neighbors had really nice houses.
Except us. My family was very poor and unhealthy. Our yard was unkept and my
parents were obese. I was ashamed of who I was. At some point in life you have
to look back and ask, “Where are all these toxic emotions coming from?” and face
those emotions.
All the exercise and good food in the world may not make
you healthy if you’re emotionally sick or poisoning yourself with FRAUDS. It’s
not only what we eat, but what’s eating you.
My new normal
It’s
“normal” to have fear, resentment, anger, unforgiveness, disappointment, and
shame. But this doesn’t have to be your normal.
You were designed to be
well — physically, emotionally, and spiritually. That’s who you really are.
You’re not a fat person, or a weak person, or a failure. The real you is seeking
health.
Let’s stop standing in its way and embrace the life God gave
us.
[written by Dr. Michele Sherwood & Dr. Mark
Sherwood]